It's April. We're Here.

It’s April. Tulips and daffodils are growing in my garden. Let’s hope this month treats us better than March. I hope you’re healthy and staying well as we all do our best during this coronavirus pandemic. In case you care about what I’ve been up to during these past few weeks:

Book I’m reading or recently finished reading (what day is today?):

• Plants as Therapy. This book was recommended to me by Lisa Edlred-Steinkopf, also known as The Houseplant Guru. I interviewed Lisa for a story on houseplants that published in the March issue of Natural Awakenings magazine: Channeling Your Inner Botanist. I’m reading a chapter every morning as a form of therapy and I cannot tell you how much I’m enjoying it. The book may have published in 1976 but it’s as relevant today as it was back in the 70s.

• Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators by Ronan Farrow. My friend Hilary Shenfeld recommended She Said: Breaking the Sexual Harassment Story That Helped Ignite a Movement by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey, which was great. This book is along the same lines. I’m having a harder time reading this one right now just because it’s not really an uplifting book but I’m going to try and get through it because my friend Delphine and I started a virtual book club and we’re supposed to discuss it mid-April. Gotta get moving on reading it! 

Podcasts I’m loving right now

• Brought To You By by Business Insider. Ever knew Marlboro cigarettes were originally marketed to women? Or why red M & M’s disappeared in the mid 1970s to the mid 1980s? Or who was the woman who put Veuve Clicquot champagne on the map? If you love marketing and advertising stories, this is a fun one to subscribe to.

• Poetry Unbound by OnBeing. Thanks to my friend Tracy Seglin Marks who recommended this one because I can listen to this poet/host read poems all day long. He has such a way of reading them that is meditative but I also love how he takes the time to discuss the poem he reads and asks listeners to reflect on a question that brings us back to the poem.

• In Defense of Plants. I’m starting to sense a theme here.

Netflix and Chill. Man, I can’t remember the last time I’ve sat on the couch to watch anything on the boob tube since before we had kids. Or at least anything for more than an hour.

• Mad Men. I didn’t watch Mad Men when the series ran from 2007-2015 but since Netflix released all seven seasons and 92 (!!!) episodes, it was a great time to binge on this series. I’ll admit, it brought me back to my agency days which was a fun reminder of that love/hate relationship between the Accounts side (where I lived) and the Creatives. While we didn’t drink and smoke as much as the characters of this show did, we did have booze accounts and there was always something cold on tap to enjoy. Gosh, I seriously miss those days. I enjoyed the earlier seasons than the latter ones and I’m glad I finally watched this series, even if was a decade behind.

• Tiger King. Finally watched this monstrosity because it seemed like everyone except us watched it. What a friggin’ train wreck.

• I’m taking a break from watching anything right now and going back to reading and writing. I think I’ve had my fill for a while. Unless you have a recommendation? If so, email me!

Decluttering: While most places aren’t accepting donations at this time, you can still do some spring cleaning and set aside donations for when we get out of this nightmare we’re living.A friend recently shared the Decluttr app that accepts some books, CDs, DVDs, games and other types of technology such as smartphones and computers. Instead of hauling all of these items to a resale shop, you can scan your items and it’ll tell you right then and there if it’s worth anything. I sent about 16 books and $13.06 was deposited into my bank account. It’s not a ton of money but it’s also 16 fewer books in my house so I’m happy. If you choose to try this and use my link, you’ll get $5 and I’ll get $5. I think. I’ve never actually tried to use this link since I just did this last month.

Some places like Open Books aren’t doing pick-ups of donations but are still (for now, as of April 1, 2020) accepting book donations at their drop-off locations. We might do a drive-by since we have 6 Bankers Boxes filled with book donations (and that’s not even a fraction of what we still have at home and for our Little Free Library, which has been getting a TON of use during we’re all sheltering-in-place right now).

Writing. Despite all of this, I’m writing. Not as much as I was but I’m still doing my morning journaling, which become my form of daily meditation. I’m also wrapping up a book-length project for a client (ghostwriting / book coaching) and working on another book-length project. It’s going slowly, but I’m happy to make as much progress as I can on a daily basis. And that’s fine with me.

Be well, my friends. And, as always, if I can help you in any way, please reach out.

2020 Word Of The Year: CONNECT

Connect. That’s my 2020 word of the year.

Have you ever paused to consider what word might guide you through the year? I started this process about five years ago (last year’s word was calm) and it’s been such an important part of my reflection process every December.

If you want to take some time and reflect on what you want to focus on this year, check out this piece I wrote for NextAvenue.org: 20 Questions to Help You Reach Your 2020 Goals. I guess some people can wing it and just see where the road takes them but I prefer to set aside some time and really consider what I want to invite more into my life. Connecting with others is a big one. Spending more time outdoors than indoors is another. Moving my body more than sitting in front of a computer. Stuff like that.

But these things don’t *just* happen. At least not for me. I need to consider how to put things into place, like creating new habits, to help make them a priority rather than a side note of my day (because that means it’ll never happen).

So how have I been doing it? Since I’m a deadline-oriented person, I’ve had to set daily deadlines for myself. I know in order for something to become a habit, I need to put it on the calendar with a specific time attached to it. I’d love to say the time is always the same but it’s not. Instead, I look at my calendar the night before and see what work deadlines I need to meet and I schedule around those deadlines.

As part of my reflection process last month, I pulled out the 48-card pack with Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. One of them really stood out so I taped it to my desktop screen as a daily reminder:

“Find the courage to ask for what you want. Others have the right to tell you yes or no, but you always have the right to ask. Likewise, everybody has the right to ask you for what they want, and you have the right to say yes or no.”

Connect. Show up. Reach out. Breathe and move. Those will be my guiding mantras in 2020. Want to join me? If so, let’s connect.

Harnessing The Power of Momentum

Have you begun writing your 2020 goals yet? Photo courtesy of STIL on Unsplash.

Last year this month, I wrote a piece for Inc.com that went viral (meaning 120,000+ views) – 20 Questions That Can Help You Reach Your 2019 Goals: Reflection and self-awareness can help set you up to achieve your goals in the new year.

I began writing today’s post yesterday, on Halloween, and whenever I’d glance up from my computer, I’d see Chicago’s first snow coming down so hard that the kids made their first snowman for the season. I was in no mood to work but I had started working on my 2020 goals and business plan so I wanted to harness the power of momentum and keep going. So I did.

Part of that exercise was reviewing these 20 questions and answering them truthfully. I also came up with another set of 20 questions which I can’t share right now (but hopefully I can soon!). From there, I came up with a game plan for 2020. Among them are five goals I hope to achieve and tactics to help me reach each of them, broken down by month and, in some cases, by week.

What’s your game plan for the new decade?

I’ve included the list of 20 questions I drafted last year below, in case they might stimulate some reflection.

For those of you who’ve been reading this blog post religiously, or supported me in some way, large or small, throughout the last decade, thank you. What a decade this has been.

20 Questions That Can Help You Reach Your 2019 Goals

~ Reflection and self-awareness can help set you up to achieve your goals in the new year ~

Reflection and self-awareness can help set you up to achieve your goals in the new year. Photo courtesy of Ana Juma on Unsplash.

It's about this time of year when people start wondering what they can do better next year. With a few exceptions, this calendar year's revenue is accounted for, so we turn our attention to next year, determined to beat this year's results.

Reflection is key to this process, as is self-awareness. Ryder Carroll, founder of the Bullet Journal--a popular method of organizing your work and life by writing them down--often talks about the importance of understanding why we're doing something, because it will help motivate us, as well as help determine if we're even heading in the right direction.

Earlier in November, I wrote an article about Carroll and his Bullet Journals. When I shared that article with some friends of mine who were going through this process, it became clear they were willing to ask the tough questions to get to their whys but didn't really know which questions to ask. So we started brainstorming the questions.

If you're struggling to find your why for next year, here are 20 questions to get you started:

1. What do I enjoy, and what am I good at doing?

2. What do I enjoy but could get better at doing?

3. What do I enjoy doing but don't do well at all?

4. What energizes me?

5. What tires me?

6. How much sleep do I need to really function well?

7. What relaxes me?

8. What stresses me out?

9. What distracts me?

10. What is the most important thing in my life?

11. Who are the most important people in my life?

12. How can I be a better friend or colleague?

13. What do I want more of in my life?

14. What would I prefer less of in my life?

15. What am I most afraid of?

16. What is one good habit that I have?

17. What is one habit I want to change?

18. What is one thing I set out to do this year that I succeeded in doing?

19. How do I define success?

20. What's the one thing I want to accomplish next year?

Start by answering each of these questions with the first answer that comes to mind. Since they are unique to the person answering them, there is no one right or wrong answer--it's your answer.

At this point, you might start to see a pattern emerging. When I engaged in this exercise last year, I set a goal of adding more teaching to my life, as well as more speaking engagements. I attached a number to those goals. I took the time to answer the why question, which helped motivate me to keep at it every month and find ways to help make my goals a reality. By November, I had met both of my goals, and a big part of the reason was having gone through the exercise and determined my whys.

The idea is to do more things you enjoy next year, and fewer things you don't. You'll be happier, and you'll likely succeed in reaching those goals, since you'll be having fun working toward them.

Day 14: 30 Day Nature Challenge

This squirrel and I have been going at it for weeks. My husband is starting to get concerned. 🐿 better stay away from my 🍅 plants because they’re on their last days! 😭 #30daynaturechallenge

Journal-Making, Excuses, and the Deafening Sound of Silence

Can you tell how excited I am? I had to get a photo of my completed Buttonhole Stitch Journal with the master Bari Zaki from Bari Zaki Studio in Chicago’s Lincoln Square neighborhood.

“Realist shit I ever read: ‘People pray for the cake. Then God gives them the batter, eggs, oil, icing, a pan, an oven, they get frustrated and leave the kitchen.’ Let that sink. Sometimes you have everything in front of you, but how bad do you want it?” – courtesy of The Female Hustlers (via @TheFemaleHustlers on Instagram). 

Excuses are so easy to make, aren’t they? Even when opportunities present themselves, we’ll find a way to give up lest we fail. It’s easier not to try something because failing is hard. 

My Pretty Finished Buttonhole Stitch Journal.

Since January of this year, I’ve tried hard to push myself to overcome my fear of trying something new or reaching out to a big-name prospective client or editor because I may not be a good fit. Some months are better than others. And one media outlet (you likely know which one) makes me nervous to pitch because I feel like I have to read every single issue over the past 12 months to *really* have a good handle on what and whom to pitch. Again, dumb. I know I can do it but I’ve already pitched twice and gotten two rejections from two different editors. But here’s the kicker: both responded. One liked my story idea (the other thought it was fun and funny but wasn’t sure it’d be a good fit for his larger readership). I know I can do it. Still, I’ve not pitched anyone at this outlet since January. I need to overcome this fear and get another pitch out there. Sooner than later.

One more - this time standing up. Isn’t she pretty?

Until then, I’ve explored other things I’ve been wanting to try. Today, I made my very first journal – from scratch! The process couldn’t have been lovelier, from the moment Bari Zaki responded to my email asking about upcoming courses, to her scheduling one around my calendar because I was so excited, to the actual class. Touching the Japanese paper that would become my journal shell, using my bone folder to create the creases, threading my journal using wax thread. 

The whole experience was both meditative and stressful because I so wanted to do it right. In the end, under Bari’s careful and patient guidance, I created what I think is one of the most beautiful things I’ve made using my hands. I love it and while I don’t want to use it because I want to keep it and look at, I also want to use it because I want to journal in it. I’m hooked and I can’t wait to take a Coptic Stitch class with her next. If you’re in Chicago and have any interest in papers or journals, do yourself a favor and check out Bari Zaki Studio in Lincoln Square.  

Balancing Noise, Silence, and the Novelty of The Light Phone

Finally, if you’ve been reading my blog posts every month, you know I’ve been intentionally trying to be more mindful of my space – physical, mental and emotional. I’ve been taking myself out to Artist Dates, meditating (167 days straight and still going strong!) and journaling daily, and reducing my screen time, especially around social media. I can’t shut off social media entirely since it’s part of the work I do, but I can control how much time I spend on it and I have been. 

Cal Newport recommended a phone called The Light Phone in his latest book, Digital Minimalism. There is a wait list for the phone, so I added my name. It’s a $150 phone that makes calls. That’s it. For those of us who feel uncomfortable leaving our homes without the safety of our phones, this is one solution to leaving your smartphone behind yet still having access to your close family members or to whomever you need to stay connected.   

The Need To Spend More Time With Friends And Being Silent

There are two things I’m experimenting with right now: trying to find a balance between spending more time with friends in real life and spending more time in silence. I’ve been pretty successful with the former, the latter…not so much. I’m trying. It’s shockingly hard (to me, anyway) to appreciate silence. 

What new things have you tried since the beginning of this year? And any advice on how to enjoy the silence? I’m all ears (I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it!).

Do What You Love Is Bad Career Advice, Or Is It?

Hatchards in London is the United Kingdom’s oldest bookshop, selling books since 1797. It was so fun to visit and, yes, I bought a few books to bring back to the States!

This weekend, I was invited to participate in a panel discussion at one of my alma maters about becoming a communications consultant and entrepreneur and leaving a stable corporate job. When someone in the audience asked how to go about securing new business and focus your energy, I advised to focus on doing what you love because you’ll attract work you want to do. Following my answer, someone else in the audience said something to the effect that while the mantra of “doing what you love” is nice, she wanted to caution people that sometimes reality dictates the kind of work that comes your way.  

What I heard is that doing what you love is bad career advice. I think she’s wrong.

To use another too-often used mantra: Life Is Short. So damn short. Why would we want to work on stuff we hate? Of course, we all have bills to pay and work we have to do that we don’t always love. I get that. And when I first began my business 12 years ago this month, I took on work for clients that I wondered whether we’d be a good fit. Some were, some weren’t. But every single one of those clients and editors taught me something – even if it was that I don’t love working on those types of projects and to steer away from them.

In the course of these twelve years, though, I also learned the kinds of clients and work I love doing and want to attract more – work that focuses on: art, architect and design (including landscape architecture and gardens and trees), environment and sustainability, food and food justice, health (especially mental health), travel and culture, and women’s and children’s rights. It’s a lot, right? I also really enjoy writing profiles and biographies, as well as features. I love interviewing people and learning their stories. I love telling their stories. I find research fun. This is why I love my work. I’ve written and/or worked on all of these topics in one way or another during the last 12 years.

Rather than take on work you don’t love, why not focus on attracting work you do love? And what better way to do that by doing what you love in the first place? Volunteer for organizations you feel strongly about and network within that space, attend conferences or read trade magazines in the topics you’re interested in, connect with people already working in companies that you might like to work with in the future and let them know you’re available if they need someone like you. The work may not come immediately and it could very well take years, but by constantly putting yourself out there and doing work you love, you’ll start to earn a reputation and that becomes your business card.

Deliberate Freelancer

Recently, I was recently interviewed for Deliberate Freelancer, a new podcast by Melanie Padgett Powers on how to build a successful freelance business. During the podcast, Melanie asked me how I organize my day and stay on task. I’m a planner and I like to plan out my month in advance, then by week, then by day, then by hour and then by 15-minute increments.

Right now, I’m using an excel spreadsheet (you can view a template of it here) because I can drill down that deeply into my day. Similar to a Bullet Journal, what doesn’t get done on one day “migrates” to the next day (or gets saved for next month, depending on the project). The idea is that every project or work on this week-at-a-glance or specific day of the week has to work for its spot. Further, each day has a financial goal attached to it so that by week’s end, I’ll hit my financial goal. If I have a meeting out of the office that isn’t going to generate income (let’s say a networking event), that gets captured on one day but that means another day has to make up for this non-revenue-generating day.  

I’m fascinated with how people plan their days and hit their revenue goals. This format works for me but I realize this can put some people over the edge because it’s so specific. They prefer to have more fluid schedules. That’s totally fine with me – but that approach doesn’t work for me. I’m deadline-driven and goal-oriented. If I don’t have a deadline, it won’t get done. If I don’t have a goal, it’s much harder to get motivated to complete something.

Embracing Creative Pursuits

Appreciating the need to give myself more space to be creative, I’ve been intentionally seeking and embracing more opportunities to welcome creativity and the arts into my life.

As the weather improves in Chicago (thank goodness, the rain this week notwithstanding), I’m so excited to get outdoors more. I’ve signed up for a bookbinding workshop at Bari Zaki (come join me!), booked ceramics classes through the Chicago Park District, and bought tickets to see a friend’s improv show with my girlfriends. My friend Katie inspired me to take up drawing (thanks, Katie!). I’ve visited a Chicago arts shop and bought some art supplies to try some new mixed media projects. I scheduled a baby goat yoga session (don’t judge - I’ve been wanting to do this for years!).

All this to say, I’m ready to play. I’m continuing my weekly Artist Dates, which have been truly a delight to plan and do every week. I’m seeing my friends in real life more regularly, which has been a joy. I’m experimenting with new work and clients, with some surprising results. I’m working out more regularly. It’s all good.

My family and I visited London last month to spend time with friends and family. One of things on my bucket list was to go to the U.K.’s oldest bookshop named Hatchards (photo at the very top). Those who know me well know I adore book shops in every form, from old bookstores like Hatchards to Little Free Libraries. I had the pleasure of finding a darling Little Free Library in an old red phone booth! Too bad I couldn’t fit the whole booth in my suitcase. Now I want to build something like this in front of my home. Hmmm, a summer project, perhaps? Anyone want to help me build this?

Mourning The Loss of Blockbuster Video Stores

When I picked up Gail Sheehy’s book, Passages, Predictable Crises of Adult Life, at my neighborhood’s Little Free Library, I didn’t know what to expect. Reading the synopsis on the back of the book, I was intrigued. It almost sounded like the adult version of What to Expect When You’re Expecting.

Once I picked it up, I couldn’t put it down. While the book was written in 1976, only once I finished it and did some research on Sheehy and the book did I learn it was named one of the 10 most influential books of our times by the Library of Congress. I feel like I was a bit late to this party but I’m so glad I stumbled upon the book and gave it a chance. If you’ve not already read it, I highly recommend it. It’s a fascinating look at what types of experiences, or passages, we all experience at some point during each decade of our lives. Keep in mind, Sheehy wrote this book in the mid-1970s so many of the examples focus on the mores of the time.

After I read it, I wondered: who put it in our Little Free Library? What’s this neighbor of mine like? Do I know this neighbor?

This whole experience reminded me of Blockbuster Video and why I miss it. I miss stumbling upon films I might never have considered had I not read their description. Sometimes I’d ask complete strangers hanging out in the aisles, looking for their own evening entertainment, if they’d seen whatever movie I was considering and if they’d recommend it. Sure, you can read descriptions flipping through Netflix and Amazon Prime or whatever your streaming service preference, but often these are curated for you based on past viewing decisions.

That’s not to say I didn’t choose some bad films, but the whole experience of going to the video shop, perusing the selections, talking with others in the store, choosing one and watching it was still fun. It’s like the experience of going to an independent bookstore and reading the backs of books you’ve not heard of because they’re not on any sort of bestseller list but they’re still outstanding books. Or asking the bookshop owner for a recommendation based on a book you enjoyed.

I’m all for advancements and technology and all that. But I feel as though we’re losing some real tangible opportunities to strengthen our communities when businesses close their brick and mortar businesses for the more efficient and cost-effective online presence.

I miss my local Blockbuster Video and the opportunities to choose a movie based on a random person’s recommendation. At least I have our Little Free Libraries and the opportunity to chat up with neighbors about the books they’re dropping off and recommending.