The Lincoln Park Conservatory is beautiful throughout the year but especially appreciated during the cold and dreary winter months.
2022 Word (s) of the Year and Book Update
Do you have a word or mantra that you want to carry you through in 2022? I have two words this year: Boundaries and Experiment.
Word(s) of the Year
Boundaries and Experiment as words of the year might seem at odds but they’re not.
I’ve learned over the year that I need to set boundaries. Not because people are steamrolling over me but because I need to do a better job at protecting my time, my resources, my mental bandwidth and my heart. That means less social media, less saying yes to things I don’t want to do (whether it’s work-related or personal) and saying yes to spending time with people who I care about and care about me.
Experiments because I want to stretch myself this year. I’m working on a full-length non-fiction book on how to calm our body and mind using our senses and backed by science. I want to try my hand at some creative pursuits. I’m completing challenges with friends (and even some strangers because, hey, why not?). I want to try new things that I’ve either postponed (because I didn’t have time, hence boundaries!) or something was holding me back.
Luckily I’m surrounding myself with close friends who are willing to be my rock, my sounding board, and my accountability masters. It’s humbling and wonderful when you find people who want to support you and help you find your best you.
Seeking Sources
Lastly, as I mentioned in last month’s blog post and sent via my email newsletter, I’m writing a book on how to calm our body and mind using our five senses and backed by science. I’m working on several chapters this month but as I’m looking ahead to chapters I plan to cover next month, I would love suggestions on either people who are practicing these activities or you have an expert who can speak on the science behind why these activities might be beneficial for our mind and body.
Sketching/drawing/doodling
Watercolor / painting
White noise
Use of floatation tank/floatation therapy
Massage
Aromatherapy
Gong meditation
If you don’t already receive my email, you can sign up for it here. This is how I hope to continue to request sources in the coming months as I continue to work on this manuscript. It’s due late spring so I need to stay focused and continue to write weekly.
Finally, because a few people have asked, I did complete my master gardener training last year! I finished my hours after completing the coursework in late 2020. Also, I am gardening this winter! With the help of some gardening friends, I’m trying my hand at winter sowing. Let’s see if they grow any seedlings to transplant come spring.
Happy new year, friends. Be well and stay safe.
Why I'm Choosing to Go With the Slow and My Winter Blues Toolkit
Fall is not my favorite time of the year, although I do love wrapping myself up in my cozy sweaters and breaking out my boots. Fall invites a slower pace, which I appreciate after a busy spring and summer in the garden, traveling to see family and friends and just enjoying the warmth of the sun and sunlight.
The limited or lack of sunlight has a strong effect on my mental health. Seasonal Affective Disorder affects about 5% of adults in the United States, according to the American Psychiatric Association, but even if we’re not diagnosed with SAD, depression during this time period due to lack of natural light is not uncommon.
I’ve been doing a lot of research on various types of ways to help calm our body and mind using our five senses since that’s the book I’m working on right now and talking to experts is helping me better identify things that might help me that I’ve never thought about trying.
One of those experts recommended I try light therapy.
I’ve written about the benefits of light therapy for Natural Awakenings magazine a couple of years ago and the idea of introducing a light for my fall and winter mornings was appealing. But for some reason, I didn’t.
This week, I spoke with a therapist who recommended those who struggle with the winter blues create a “toolkit” to help us get through these dreary seasons. The idea is if we can identify things we enjoy doing, make us comfortable or look forward to, we can reach for those things when we start to see the negative effects of those winter blues.
I started to think of things that make me happy or I can look forward to and started to jot them down. It was then I realized there are a lot of things I can do to help me get through this season. Might this be the year I embrace the cold and dreariness of Chicago’s fall and winter seasons? I don’t know but at least I’ve put together my toolkit to help me. 13 things because 13 is my favorite number. ;-)
Winter Blues Toolkit
1. Getting at least one 30-minute walk outside, no matter the weather
2. Cup of warm tea (my British cousins will love me for adding this since I’m a coffee fiend)
3. Warm bath
4. Wrap myself in a cozy blanket
5. Invest in light therapy (therapist is sending recommendations but if you have one you love, please let me know!)
6. Read my magazines that I’ve not had time to enjoy because of work commitments
7. Plan more dates with friends (schedule them in advance so I have a date to look forward to!)
8. Schedule time to visit a museum or visit the Garfield Park Conservatory (my favorite winter hotspot)
9. Clean/organize my space (generally, the idea of cleaning or organizing anything is not a source of pleasure but the slower pace of the season allows for reflection and introspection and going through my spaces and choosing to let go of things that no longer serve me or, to use a Marie Kondo phrase, brings me joy, is particularly therapeutic)
10. Plan a trip away – even if it’s to work from a different location (I’ve been spending a lot of time at Guild Row lately.), book a hotel as part of a staycation (this sounds kind of fun) or a place a couple of hours away to explore (something to look forward to in early February, for example, when the weather is really horrid and I feel like winter will never end)
11. Yoga, meditation and movement
12. Find events to attend, whether it’s an author reading, live performance or discussion I’m interested in
13. Use those creativity muscles to try something new
If you get hit with the winter blues, too, perhaps spending time developing your toolkit might help you, too. I’ll admit, it was a fun exercise to think about what I enjoy and listing them in this way.
I’d love to hear what things you do during the fall and winter months that you enjoy. Maybe I’ll give it a try this season!
Igniting Wonder with Mindfulness and Movement
Every year I use the new calendar year to identify my word of the year. My 2021 Word Of The Year is: Move. As in move my body, move the needle, move the project along, movement, you get the idea.
I also want to use movement to allow myself to observe things around me more closely. When I take a walk around my neighborhood, I want to navigate my space in a way that I can pause and take in my surroundings. Take it all in using all of my senses.
When we’re in dire need of a change of pace or scenery, to unwind or relax, we often try to escape from daily life. We’ll book a vacation or go on a hike in the woods or visit a museum. That physical space change was a welcome reprieve but as the global pandemic has shown us, some of those luxuries aren’t currently available to us right now and haven’t been for months.
"With mindfulness, you can establish yourself in the present in order to touch the wonders of life that are available in that moment." - Thich Nhat Hanh
What I’ve learned over the past year is that we can ignite that same wonder we experience when we travel outdoors or out of our normal spaces in our own communities, in our backyards, in our homes. By tapping into our senses, we can appreciate the vibrant color of red berries on shrubs, the comforting smell of a hot cup of coffee in the morning, the way of body feels as we crush through the snow on an evening walk or how the soft blanket feels around our shoulders as we snuggle on the sofa with a book to read. Even the hum of the expressway or subway can be a welcoming sound to the psyche.
We’re surrounded by subtle wonders and we can choose where we place our attention. Do we hurry through our day without taking a pause and appreciating what we have or can we take a moment and be mindful of the space around us?
This is not to say we can or should abandon our responsibilities or work, obviously. That ever-consuming to-do list will still be there after we return from a calming walk. By taking a moment to honor your body and headspace, though, we can feel more nurtured, nourished and centered. And it might just give us the headspace we needed to be able to tackle something that has been particularly challenging thus far.
How are you practicing mindfulness these days? In what ways are you using your senses to invite more wonder and calm into your life? I’d love to hear from you!
Tomatoes Hate Cucumbers, Carrots Love Tomatoes, And Why I'm Digging Deep This Spring
Happy May, my friends!
Until last month, I’ve never heard of a potato tower. Or that tomatoes hate being planted next to cucumbers. Or carrots like tomatoes as neighbors. But thanks to a bit more time on my hands due to the coronavirus pandemic, I’m trying to keep myself busy and soak up all I can from gardening friends, old and new.
In between writing some articles I was assigned PC (Pre-Coronavirus) and handling some client work, I was getting my hands dirty, planting some seeds from a new-to-me friend from a local neighborhood gardening group. Someone in the group asked if it was too late to start growing seeds indoors (something I’d never done) and she was told not at all. That made me think — hey, why not try something new this season? So I reached out to Christine, who apparently is the seed keeper for the group, and she kindly shared half a dozen different types of plant seeds with me. Later that week, into the soil they went and I’ve been babying them ever since. Within a week, the first seedling made its appearance and I kid you not, I cried. It was the first hopeful thing I’d experienced in a long time. My babies are growing.
I decided I was going to go all-in this season. Upon my brother’s recommendation, I purchased a warming pad for my seedings. My gardening group recommended a grow light to help so I invested in one of those, too. Now, every morning, I turn both of those on and talk to my babies. I’ve learned about needing to “harden” the seedlings so I can prepare them for transplanting them outdoors. I picked up Fran Sorin’s book, Digging Deep, and participated in my first Zoom chat with fellow gardeners.
This month is my 13th year in business. Thirteen years, my friends. I’m so grateful for my family, friends, clients, editors, fellow writers, and former colleagues, who have helped me get to this milestone. Thirteen years I’ve had the pleasure to learn and grow from each and every single person I’ve met. How much my business will grow this year financially is still up in the air, but as far as I’m concerned, I’ll keep growing and learning as long as I’m able to do so. Right now, I’ve just shifted my time and energy so I can spend more time learning about my garden and what it wants and needs. Later this month, I’ll be transplanting my babies into my raised beds and hope they are hardened enough to make it so they can continue to grow and produce fruits and vegetables.
I’m going to record my progress on my Instagram account if you have any interest to follow it. I’m doing it more for myself and to see how my garden grows throughout the summer.
Do you have any good books or articles for me to read or videos watch? I’ve also been listening to a few podcasts, including The Mike Nowak Show (with Peggy Malecki), Bloom and Grow Radio, and Plantrama.
By the way, here’s a great cheat sheet list of plants that grow well together as well as a list of their garden foes, thanks to the Old Farmer’s Almanac. Or, pick up Carrots Love Tomatoes: Secrets of Companion Planting for Successful Gardening.
It's April. We're Here.
It’s April. Tulips and daffodils are growing in my garden. Let’s hope this month treats us better than March. I hope you’re healthy and staying well as we all do our best during this coronavirus pandemic. In case you care about what I’ve been up to during these past few weeks:
Book I’m reading or recently finished reading (what day is today?):
Plants as Therapy. This book was recommended to me by Lisa Edlred-Steinkopf, also known as The Houseplant Guru. I interviewed Lisa for a story on houseplants that published in the March issue of Natural Awakenings magazine: Channeling Your Inner Botanist. I’m reading a chapter every morning as a form of therapy and I cannot tell you how much I’m enjoying it. The book may have published in 1976 but it’s as relevant today as it was back in the 70s.
Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators by Ronan Farrow. My friend Hilary Shenfeld recommended She Said: Breaking the Sexual Harassment Story That Helped Ignite a Movement by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey, which was great. This book is along the same lines. I’m having a harder time reading this one right now just because it’s not really an uplifting book but I’m going to try and get through it because my friend Delphine and I started a virtual book club and we’re supposed to discuss it mid-April. Gotta get moving on reading it!
Podcasts I’m loving right now
Brought To You By by Business Insider. Ever knew Marlboro cigarettes were originally marketed to women? Or why red M & M’s disappeared in the mid 1970s to the mid 1980s? Or who was the woman who put Veuve Clicquot champagne on the map? If you love marketing and advertising stories, this is a fun one to subscribe to.
Poetry Unbound by OnBeing. Thanks to my friend Tracy Seglin Marks who recommended this one because I can listen to this poet/host read poems all day long. He has such a way of reading them that is meditative but I also love how he takes the time to discuss the poem he reads and asks listeners to reflect on a question that brings us back to the poem.
In Defense of Plants. I’m starting to sense a theme here.
Netflix and Chill. Man, I can’t remember the last time I’ve sat on the couch to watch anything on the boob tube since before we had kids. Or at least anything for more than an hour.
Mad Men. I didn’t watch Mad Men when the series ran from 2007-2015 but since Netflix released all seven seasons and 92 (!!!) episodes, it was a great time to binge on this series. I’ll admit, it brought me back to my agency days which was a fun reminder of that love/hate relationship between the Accounts side (where I lived) and the Creatives. While we didn’t drink and smoke as much as the characters of this show did, we did have booze accounts and there was always something cold on tap to enjoy. Gosh, I seriously miss those days. I enjoyed the earlier seasons than the latter ones and I’m glad I finally watched this series, even if was a decade behind.
Tiger King. Finally watched this monstrosity because it seemed like everyone except us watched it. What a friggin’ train wreck.
I’m taking a break from watching anything right now and going back to reading and writing. I think I’ve had my fill for a while. Unless you have a recommendation? If so, email me!
Decluttering: While most places aren’t accepting donations at this time, you can still do some spring cleaning and set aside donations for when we get out of this nightmare we’re living.A friend recently shared the Decluttr app that accepts some books, CDs, DVDs, games and other types of technology such as smartphones and computers. Instead of hauling all of these items to a resale shop, you can scan your items and it’ll tell you right then and there if it’s worth anything. I sent about 16 books and $13.06 was deposited into my bank account. It’s not a ton of money but it’s also 16 fewer books in my house so I’m happy. If you choose to try this and use my link, you’ll get $5 and I’ll get $5. I think. I’ve never actually tried to use this link since I just did this last month.
Some places like Open Books aren’t doing pick-ups of donations but are still (for now, as of April 1, 2020) accepting book donations at their drop-off locations. We might do a drive-by since we have 6 Bankers Boxes filled with book donations (and that’s not even a fraction of what we still have at home and for our Little Free Library, which has been getting a TON of use during we’re all sheltering-in-place right now).
Writing. Despite all of this, I’m writing. Not as much as I was but I’m still doing my morning journaling, which become my form of daily meditation. I’m also wrapping up a book-length project for a client (ghostwriting / book coaching) and working on another book-length project. It’s going slowly, but I’m happy to make as much progress as I can on a daily basis. And that’s fine with me.
Be well, my friends. And, as always, if I can help you in any way, please reach out.
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2020 Word Of The Year: CONNECT
Connect. That’s my 2020 word of the year.
Have you ever paused to consider what word might guide you through the year? I started this process about five years ago (last year’s word was calm) and it’s been such an important part of my reflection process every December.
If you want to take some time and reflect on what you want to focus on this year, check out this piece I wrote for NextAvenue.org: 20 Questions to Help You Reach Your 2020 Goals. I guess some people can wing it and just see where the road takes them but I prefer to set aside some time and really consider what I want to invite more into my life. Connecting with others is a big one. Spending more time outdoors than indoors is another. Moving my body more than sitting in front of a computer. Stuff like that.
But these things don’t *just* happen. At least not for me. I need to consider how to put things into place, like creating new habits, to help make them a priority rather than a side note of my day (because that means it’ll never happen).
So how have I been doing it? Since I’m a deadline-oriented person, I’ve had to set daily deadlines for myself. I know in order for something to become a habit, I need to put it on the calendar with a specific time attached to it. I’d love to say the time is always the same but it’s not. Instead, I look at my calendar the night before and see what work deadlines I need to meet and I schedule around those deadlines.
As part of my reflection process last month, I pulled out the 48-card pack with Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. One of them really stood out so I taped it to my desktop screen as a daily reminder:
“Find the courage to ask for what you want. Others have the right to tell you yes or no, but you always have the right to ask. Likewise, everybody has the right to ask you for what they want, and you have the right to say yes or no.”
Connect. Show up. Reach out. Breathe and move. Those will be my guiding mantras in 2020. Want to join me? If so, let’s connect.
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Harnessing The Power of Momentum
Have you begun writing your 2020 goals yet? Photo courtesy of STIL on Unsplash.
Last year this month, I wrote a piece for Inc.com that went viral (meaning 120,000+ views) – 20 Questions That Can Help You Reach Your 2019 Goals: Reflection and self-awareness can help set you up to achieve your goals in the new year.
I began writing today’s post yesterday, on Halloween, and whenever I’d glance up from my computer, I’d see Chicago’s first snow coming down so hard that the kids made their first snowman for the season. I was in no mood to work but I had started working on my 2020 goals and business plan so I wanted to harness the power of momentum and keep going. So I did.
Part of that exercise was reviewing these 20 questions and answering them truthfully. I also came up with another set of 20 questions which I can’t share right now (but hopefully I can soon!). From there, I came up with a game plan for 2020. Among them are five goals I hope to achieve and tactics to help me reach each of them, broken down by month and, in some cases, by week.
What’s your game plan for the new decade?
I’ve included the list of 20 questions I drafted last year below, in case they might stimulate some reflection.
For those of you who’ve been reading this blog post religiously, or supported me in some way, large or small, throughout the last decade, thank you. What a decade this has been.
20 Questions That Can Help You Reach Your 2019 Goals
~ Reflection and self-awareness can help set you up to achieve your goals in the new year ~
Reflection and self-awareness can help set you up to achieve your goals in the new year. Photo courtesy of Ana Juma on Unsplash.
It's about this time of year when people start wondering what they can do better next year. With a few exceptions, this calendar year's revenue is accounted for, so we turn our attention to next year, determined to beat this year's results.
Reflection is key to this process, as is self-awareness. Ryder Carroll, founder of the Bullet Journal--a popular method of organizing your work and life by writing them down--often talks about the importance of understanding why we're doing something, because it will help motivate us, as well as help determine if we're even heading in the right direction.
Earlier in November, I wrote an article about Carroll and his Bullet Journals. When I shared that article with some friends of mine who were going through this process, it became clear they were willing to ask the tough questions to get to their whys but didn't really know which questions to ask. So we started brainstorming the questions.
If you're struggling to find your why for next year, here are 20 questions to get you started:
What do I enjoy, and what am I good at doing?
What do I enjoy but could get better at doing?
What do I enjoy doing but don't do well at all?
What energizes me?
What tires me?
How much sleep do I need to really function well?
What relaxes me?
What stresses me out?
What distracts me?
What is the most important thing in my life?
Who are the most important people in my life?
How can I be a better friend or colleague?
What do I want more of in my life?
What would I prefer less of in my life?
What am I most afraid of?
What is one good habit that I have?
What is one habit I want to change?
What is one thing I set out to do this year that I succeeded in doing?
How do I define success?
What's the one thing I want to accomplish next year?
Start by answering each of these questions with the first answer that comes to mind. Since they are unique to the person answering them, there is no one right or wrong answer--it's your answer.
At this point, you might start to see a pattern emerging. When I engaged in this exercise last year, I set a goal of adding more teaching to my life, as well as more speaking engagements. I attached a number to those goals. I took the time to answer the why question, which helped motivate me to keep at it every month and find ways to help make my goals a reality. By November, I had met both of my goals, and a big part of the reason was having gone through the exercise and determined my whys.
The idea is to do more things you enjoy next year, and fewer things you don't. You'll be happier, and you'll likely succeed in reaching those goals, since you'll be having fun working toward them.